Dear Graduates
Dear Graduates
BY VICTORIA HESTER
This letter was originally written for a dear friend of mine that graduates this year from college. However, I am sure that there are many other young women that need to hear these same words. I welcome you into this little snippet of our friendship that it may prove fruitful for you, or your loved one, as well!
The encouragement and counsel in this letter flows from my post-college heart that has experienced pain, sadness, joy, love, disappointment, confusion, and so much more these past two years. I know that you know that these experiences are not just given to bring us closer to Jesus, but also to pour out into the kingdom that others may learn. This is my overflow, friend, from me to you, that the Lord may be glorified in my life, yours, and the lives of all that touch us.
Jesus is it. That is an oversimplified version of what you already know, but it carries new meaning after college. The world is a cunning opponent. It is sneaky in its ways and patient for our downfall. The world successfully tells people every day that somewhere out there is something that will fill the void- whatever it may be- and people listen. Don’t listen. That void isn’t going anywhere. It will be there until we are united with God in heaven because that is whom it was made for. Embrace the grief that this broken world and its people cannot fulfill us, love us, and protect us like it was meant to. Don’t run from that sadness. Embrace it. The more you learn about what the world cannot provide, the more you will run to Jesus.
Have a mentor. Be a mentor. My life changed dramatically when I found black women of faith leading lives as wives, entrepreneurs, mothers, and businesswomen all for the sake of the Kingdom. It purposed my actions and simplified my decisions to live life among women a little further along than me. They encourage, challenge, and love me so well, and I couldn’t be the woman I am today without them. I couldn’t overflow to you without them. I pray the Lord will bless you with women that will do the same for you. We don’t have all the answers and that’s okay. No one does and no one has to. What you will need is women that can model for you the woman God has designed you to be. Ask God for them. Then go be one for another. A journey walked alongside Jesus is too precious to be experienced by only one soul.
Hear the lie, but dig for the Truth. The world will tell you lies about who God is. What He wants. How He feels. What He thinks about you. Yes, the enemy already knows that strong women like you won’t settle for the lie that there is no God. So, he will tell you lies like these: god does not care for you, he has grown tired of you and your sin and unfaithfulness, god has better things to think about, god can’t forgive you, he doesn’t want to hear your prayers right now, he expects more of you. There are millions I guarantee you. But you know what the beauty is about lies? They are distortions of the truth. Somewhere, deep beneath their slimy surface is something true. So listen to the lie, then dig for the truth. Sit in silence, in scripture, or with other women of God, and listen for the voice that whispers love, truth, and kindness. It is there, and it always will be.
Set boundaries. Before the fall, the Garden of Eden was perfection on earth. It was everything the Lord had designed for creation. AND IT HAD BOUNDARIES. Don’t eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Remember that? God’s purpose for creation was to live within boundaries, and that hasn’t changed. Set boundaries for yourself. Create boundaries of rest, technology, friendship, time, work, and PLEASE set boundaries of relationships. Seriously, friend, don’t be a girlfriend to a man who only wants to be your best friend and don’t be a wife to a man that only wants to be your boyfriend. Despite what the world may tell you, boundaries don’t lock you in, they keep the enemy out. When you create boundaries for yourself, you acknowledge that you are not perfect. You have wounds and weaknesses that are vulnerable to exploitation. Welcome to the club! You are a woman of great value and worthy of protection. Boundaries ensure that only those who recognize that fact (not opinion, or preference, or belief) get to share in this beautiful life God has blessed you with. And most importantly, boundaries steer us back to God when we wander- because girl, you will wander.
Pray. I wish I prayed more my first year out of college. Heck, I wish I prayed more now. I spent so much time talking and journaling and mentoring that prayer became scarce. I have gotten a lot of questions about prayer. If God knows my thoughts and desires, why pray? If God is sovereign and I can’t change His plans, why pray? If I don’t have the words to explain what I’m feeling, why pray? If I deserve what is happening to me, why pray? Because God hears and answers prayers. Yes, you have to listen hard. Yes, you have to be patient for His timing. Yes, you may feel the exact same way afterward. But God, in His faithfulness, hears ALL prayers and ANSWERS according to His good, pleasing, and perfect will. Why pray? Why not? Don’t pray to change God’s will. Pray to understand it. Don’t pray to change our circumstance. Pray for the wisdom and strength to respond to it well. Prayer acknowledges that you are fallen, broken, inadequate, and limited in understanding; it postures you in faith toward a kind and sovereign God who takes pleasure in your words. Prayer is praise, grief, hope, confusion, joy, sadness, doubt, and weariness all tied up with the strings of faith and received with joy by the Father. Cover your life in prayer.
Everyone needs a person. My person held me through a shadow I didn’t even know was over me until it was too late and too dark to see Jesus in the midst. Walking with God is hard. Some days are darker than others, and in the end, you may feel like there is something you can’t tell or explain to anyone, not even God. Tell your trustworthy person. Everyone needs one person in front of whom they can bare their soul and still feel loved. Listen. Because I believe the Lord has purposed you for great things. I believe His glory will be magnified in your life. So, when it’s gotten so bad, and you don’t know how to go to God. Come to that person who will sit. Who will listen. Who will hold your hand. And who will lead you straight back to Jesus.
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