The Secret to Contentment
The Secret to Contentment
By Shannon Janico
Before I met my wonderful husband Jordan, it took me a long time to be content being single.
There were many lonely college nights spent wishing I was anywhere besides alone in my bed reading. There were attempts to lean on guy friends for emotional intimacy because it was convenient and felt "safe" (Alert! It is not healthy or safe). There were many dinners with girlfriends that felt like mini lifeboats but sometimes still left me aching for the warmth only a romantic relationship seemed to provide. I had countless amounts of quiet times with the Lord where I would tell God all that I would have told a boyfriend.
During that season, I did a lot of talking to God but not a whole lot of listening.
It took me a long time to be content being single.
Having been in a relationship for a while, it surprised me that I needed to do actual work to figure out “who Shannon was” apart from a romantic relationship. Like any learning opportunity, it felt both exciting and terrifying. Energizing and heartbreaking. What if I failed?
Thankfully, the Lord led me to activities that began to help me figure out who “Shannon” was. God brought me to Grassroots, a college organization that I co-lead and found purpose in through serving people who had it worse than me. A New Year’s Resolution led me to yoga, an activity that I grew to love and look forward to. A best friend led me to a song, a beautiful reminder that I played night after night, realizing that I could only be satisfied in Christ
What does "being satisfied in Christ" even mean? What does it mean to be "content?"
Contentment is difficult because how can you always be “satisfied?” You look forward to a date party or a formal, but then it comes and goes, and you are left looking to the next thing to make you happy. After college, you will see it in the transient life of graduates who move from city to city in attempt to find contentment. Spoiler alert: unfortunately, when you move, your issues move too.
For many of us, we yearn for the future when whatever we so desire will hopefully be ours. For others, we yearn for the past where what we desire now was once ours.
It’s difficult to be content in the present. The problem of attainability is one thing, but the morality of contentment is another. Biblically, are we supposed to always be satisfied? Aren't we supposed to "pick up our cross and follow him?" (Luke 9:23). That doesn't sound fun...?
Paul, help a sister out!
Paul explains…
“Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things, I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:11-13
As a history teacher, I teach my students the importance of historical context. Context is crucial to investigating Truth. Without an understanding of Paul’s specific life and time period, this verse can get manipulated into something it is not (don’t get me started on how athletic programs use this verse; granted, I never was a true athlete, so I could very well be missing the point).
Paul, a close friend of Jesus, spread the Gospel or “good news” about Jesus’s saving grace, on his second missionary visit to Philippi (a Roman colony given special privileges of Roman citizenship after the Battle of Philippi in 42 B.C.).
At the time Paul wrote this letter to Philippi (who had since created a local church after Paul’s visit), ten years had passed from Paul’s work with the Philippians. If Paul had a Facebook, his status would be "imprisoned by Roman soldiers." When his friends in Philippi heard about Paul’s bondage, they quickly sent a pastor named Epaphroditus to minister to Paul spiritually and financially. As theologian Robert P. Lightner states, “the Book of Philippians might be called a thank-you note to saints in Philippi for their generous gifts.”
It is important to know that Paul was sitting in a JAIL CELL when he writes Philippians 4:11-13 because it dramatically illustrates that dire circumstances should not impact inner contentment. Paul says he is content. Did I mention that he is in a jail cell? Personally, I would be freaking out in fear or depressed if I ever found myself in a jail cell; I would be anything but "content."
Robert P. Lightner teaches that the word "content" in Greek -autarkes- means "self-sufficient," and “the Stoics used this word to mean human self-reliance and fortitude, a calm acceptance of life’s pressures. But Paul used it to refer to a divinely bestowed sufficiency, whatever the circumstances.”
Woah. Let me repeat this life-altering statement if you missed it; "Paul used it [the word contentment] to refer to a divinely bestowed sufficiency, whatever the circumstances."
If contentment is “divinely bestowed” then that means that our human efforts to move to a new city, buy more clothes, get a promotion, gain the respect of our coworkers, feel beautiful, get famous in our field, etc. do not lead to contentment. At least not contentment in any longterm understanding that would apply to "whatever the circumstances."
In fact, “to bestow” means to give—we do not create contentment. We are given contentment. If we are given contentment, the next natural question is who do we get contentment from?
Paul shares the "secret" that God gives contentment. It is a divine bestowment. If we are not content, it is because we have not received this divine gift.
God desires to give you and me everything we need (not what we think we will want---there's a key difference) because He is our provider. He is our Heavenly Father who “knows how to give good gifts” (Matthew 7:11).
The challenging part about contentment is that we have a selfish, earthly illusion of what will make us happy and satisfied in life. We think getting straight As will lead to contentment or a beautiful engagement ring one day or maybe just an impressive sounding job after college. However, God says in Isaiah 55:8-9, “'My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,’ says the Lord. ‘And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.’”
When I was in college, I thought I would be content when I got a beautiful picture of myself from a sorority formal that tons of people "liked." A comment on my picture would truly give me an adrenaline rush. I thought I would be content when I got straight As on my report card. I thought I would be content when I went on a spring break trip with a bunch of sweet girls that would hopefully satisfy my desire to have a cohesive friend group (the TV show Friends clearly has ruined us all). In college, I thought I would be content when I spent enough time in the gym to have a flat stomach and skinny legs. I definitely would be content when I never had to take a final exam again but was the one handing them out (insert evil teacher laugh here).
Through attaining many of these things and still feeling dissatisfied, I began to learn that not only will none of these things ever give me true contentment, but my understanding of the source of contentment was completely wrong.
It was not that I needed to "figure out who Shannon was apart from a romantic relationship" to be content being single, but I needed to figure out who the Holy Spirit is that provides contentment in every circumstance. Once I accepted Jesus as Savior, the Holy Spirit dwelled inside of me, and gave me "a peace that transcends all understanding" (Philippians 4:7) and a knowledge that "it is more blessed to give than to receive" (Acts 20:35).
Once I comprehended that everything in my life will change EXCEPT for the fact that my name written in the Book of Life (Revelation 20:12), I found the secret to contentment. If you accept Jesus as True and the Savior of the world, yours too will be written in the book of life. No matter what trials come your way, you can be content because you have been given contentment. Praise be to the Lord Jesus Christ who gave his perfect life, so we can have access to Him who gives contentment.
“Hold firmly to the word of life; then, on the day of Christ’s return, I will be proud that I did not run the race in vain and that my work was not useless. But I will rejoice even if I lose my life, pouring it out like a liquid offering to God, just like your faithful service is an offering to God. And I want all of you to share that joy. Yes, you should rejoice, and I will share your joy.” -Philippians 2:16-18